“You’re not being vain. You’re grieving — and that’s allowed.”
Hair loss is one of those things we’re told to shrug off.
“It’s just hair.”
“It happens to everyone.”
“Shave it and embrace it.”
“Don’t be so vain.”
But here’s what no one says out loud:
Hair loss hurts.
Not just physically, not just aesthetically — but deeply.
And the grief it brings is real.
I didn’t understand that until it started happening to me.
🪞The First Time I Noticed
I don’t remember the exact day it started, but I do remember the feeling.
It was subtle at first — a little more scalp showing under the bathroom light.
Then came the hair on the pillow. The widening part. The denial.
I told myself it was stress. Or maybe bad shampoo.
Anything but what it really was:
Change.
Unwelcome, irreversible, visible change.
And the worst part wasn’t losing hair — it was losing a version of myself I had quietly, unconsciously clung to.
😶🌫️ The Grief No One Names
We don't talk about hair loss as grief.
But we should.
Because that's what it is:
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The loss of familiarity when you look in the mirror.
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The quiet panic in photos or under harsh lights.
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The constant mental math of angles, hats, hairstyles, and damage control.
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The feeling of watching part of your youth, your vitality, your self-image, slip away without your permission.
This isn’t about vanity.
It’s about identity.
📖 The Book That Finally Said, “Hey, You’re Not Crazy for Caring”
Enter The Bald Truth by Spencer David Kobren.
I picked it up hoping for tips — maybe a treatment plan or a miracle cure (spoiler: there isn’t one).
What I got instead was something far more important:
Validation.
This book doesn’t sugarcoat hair loss. It doesn’t tell you to “get over it.”
Instead, it acknowledges the emotional chaos it brings.
It gives you permission to care — and to take action from a place of empowerment, not shame.
“Hair loss is a real medical and psychological issue — not just a cosmetic inconvenience.” — The Bald Truth
Reading that line hit me like a gut punch.
I felt seen for the first time in the entire process.
🤝 Why This Grief Feels So Lonely
Hair loss is weirdly isolating.
It’s slow. Silent. Usually invisible to others — until it’s not.
And society doesn’t make space for that grief.
There’s support for all kinds of visible loss: weight gain, illness, trauma.
But when it comes to something like hair?
You're expected to laugh it off. Embrace the bald. Own the shine.
But here’s the truth most people won’t say:
You’re allowed to care. You’re allowed to feel the loss. And you’re allowed to take it seriously.
Not because you’re vain.
Because you’re human.
🔄 From Shame to Ownership
The Bald Truth didn’t give me a magic fix — but it gave me back my agency.
I stopped pretending.
I started learning what actually works (and what’s a scam).
I took back control of my narrative — and started replacing shame with choice.
I still have days where I feel like avoiding mirrors.
But now, I have something better than hair: a deeper understanding of my own resilience.
Final Thought: Hair Loss Isn’t Just About Looks — It’s About Loss. And That Deserves to Be Felt.
If you’re quietly struggling with hair loss, I want you to hear this:
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You’re not broken.
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You’re not overreacting.
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You’re not shallow.
You’re going through a change that affects your identity, your self-esteem, and your sense of control.
And you deserve support, not silence.
Grieve if you need to.
Laugh when you can.
And when you're ready — read The Bald Truth.
It won’t fix everything.
But it will remind you that you’re not alone.
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