Thick Hair: The Dream That’s Actually a Daily Workout
Let’s get one thing straight: having thick hair is a flex — until it’s not.
You know that feeling when your ponytail is heavier than your gym weights? Or when you try a cute Pinterest bun and end up with something that looks like a loaf of bread on your head?
Yeah, welcome to the club.
So, I did what every heat-damaged, over-conditioned, emotionally exhausted woman with thick hair does at least once: I went short.
The Pinterest Lie: “Any Bob Will Do!”
Every article, every influencer, and every “hairstyle guide for thick hair” kept pointing to the same list:
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The Blunt Bob
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The Angled Bob
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The Pixie Cut
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The Shag
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The Lob (long bob, for the uninitiated)
I tried them. All of them. Over 3 years. Each promising to be "perfect for thick hair."
Spoiler: most of them were not.
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The Blunt Bob: A Geometric Nightmare
First up: the classic blunt bob. Clean, chic, Vogue-worthy. But on thick hair?
It gave triangle energy. Like, actual triangle. You could’ve measured the base and done a geometry test on my head. No movement, no bend — just a heavy curtain of hair that sat there like an accusation.
The Angled Bob: Sleek… for One Day
It looked amazing. For about 6 hours. Until I washed it. Then it became The Angled Puff — long in the front, and pure volume panic in the back. It needed daily heat styling, which defeated the whole “easy haircut” vibe.
The Pixie Cut: I Wanted to Love You
It was bold. It was liberating. But for thick hair? It’s also… a full-time job. I was in the salon every three weeks trying to tame the back before it morphed into a mullet. The top was always too poofy, the sides grew out like rebellious wings, and my hair fought every attempt at subtlety.
The Shag: Looked Great on the Model
The shag is supposed to give effortless, beachy rockstar energy. On me, it gave matted poodle with too much conditioner. My hair doesn’t “fall” in layers — it stacks. So unless I used mousse, gel, a diffuser, and a prayer… it was a no.
The Lob: Almost There, But Still Not It
This was the closest to functional. Long enough to tie up. Short enough to feel lighter. But it still puffed out at the shoulders. And every time I wore a hoodie, it flipped like it had attitude.
So… What Did Work?
The Textured Collarbone Cut.
No, it’s not some flashy name. And no, you probably haven’t seen it trending on TikTok yet. But here’s why it worked when everything else failed:
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It’s slightly longer than a lob, but shorter than “long hair.”
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Layers are built into the cut — not just on the bottom — so the volume gets spread out, not stacked.
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It doesn’t need perfect styling. Even air-dried, it looks tousled, not chaotic.
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You can tie it up, clip it back, or leave it down without a fight.
It was the first cut where I didn’t feel like I had to battle my hair into submission. It moved. It breathed. It forgave me on bad hair days.
Why Doesn’t Anyone Recommend This?
Because it’s boring on paper. It’s not dramatic. It doesn’t scream “transformation.” It’s not going viral. But if you’re a thick-haired girl who’s tired of fighting her hair every morning, it might just be your sanity-saving haircut.
Final Take: Haircuts Are Like Jeans — Not One-Size-Fits-All
If you’ve got thick hair, don’t just take advice from viral guides written for average hair. Test, tweak, and don’t be afraid to ask your stylist to thin, texturize, and personalize. And if your cut didn’t work out? It’s hair. It grows back.
Just maybe… not as fast as your stylist’s enthusiasm when you say “blunt bob.”
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